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MOTHER'S HAMMER

by ANNABEL LEE

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1.
I wish that I could show you how I’m feeling Alas alas alas alas alas I’m a lady I wish that you could see how much I’m bleeding Alas alas alas alas alas I’m a lady I think you’ll find That I’m gentle when you listen and behave Bare in mind I can smell your rotten meat around my cage I wish that you could feel how hard I’m fiending Alas alas alas alas alas I’m a lady I wish that I could laugh at you and mean it ha ha ha ha Alas alas alas alas alas I’m a lady I think you’ll see That the delicate is often out of reach I think you’ll find That I’ve got something more singular in mind I wish that I could show you more I wish that I could fuck you sore I wish that this was all there is Just you and me a sloppy kiss I wish that you’d unlock this door I wish that I could show you more I wish that I could show you more I wish that I could pin you down and roar Roar roar roar roar Alas alas alas alas alas I’m a lady
2.
UP 04:08
I hard woman I cold hand I thick body I chosen It’s hard for the girl with the wandering eye It’s hard for the girl when you can’t her high It’s hard for the girl with the wandering eye Can’t get high Can’t get high I’m goin up up up up to the top cuz the bottom never suited me I’m goin’ up up up up to the top cuz the bottom don’t fuck with me I said I don’t want to be the one to break the news to you I don’t want to be the one to tell you know and I don’t want to be the one to let it die babe but I was never planning on sticking around You check figures You shake hands You blow smoke You broken It’s hard for the girl with the wandering eye It’s hard for the girl when you can’t her high It’s hard for the girl with the wandering eye can’t get high can’t get high I’m goin up up up up to the top cuz the bottom never suited me I’m goin’ up up up up to the top cuz the bottom don’t fuck with me I said I don’t want to be the one to break the news to you I don’t want to be the one to tell you know and I don’t want to be the one to let it die babe but I was never planning on sticking around They say I’m not the type of lady That they’re thirsty for maybe if the world was feelin’ faint And I could go for miles about the ways I’m not the one But those miles fade and disappear today Today I’m goin up up up up to the top cuz the bottom never suited me I’m goin’ up up up up to the top cuz the bottom don’t fuck with me I said I don’t want to be the one to break the news to you I don’t want to be the one to tell you know and I don’t want to be the one to let it die babe but I was never planning on sticking around
3.
PATTI SMITH 04:09
New York Scorching in the summer I sweat Underneath my lover Is it too late Is it too late for me? East side My infatuation My guy Inflicted and impatient Is it too late is it too late for me? I wander the lobby of the The Chelsea Hotel I dream about begging To sleep in a cell Oh I wanna live like Patti Smith I wanna fear god with a self-made grit don’t wanna suffer the age I’m in Mornings Day old bread, you found me My lungs Blackened like my coffee Is it too late Is it too late for me My dress Frayed and full of memory I choose Romance over cleanly Is it too late is it too late for me I wander of the lobby of the The Chelsea Hotel I dream about begging To sleep in a cell Oh I wanna live like patti smith I wanna fear god with a self-made grit don’t wanna suffer the age I’m in Oh I wanna live like patti smith I wanna make love and destroy with it don’t wanna suffer the age I’m in Today feels so hard and I’m searching for why I’m pining for something thats so far behind Yeah I wanna live like patti smith I wanna fear god with a self-made grit don’t wanna suffer the age I’m in Oh I wanna live like patti smith I wanna make love and destroy with it don’t wanna suffer the age I’m in
4.
LOS ANGELES 03:57
I’ve been filling all my voids with boys Let them have me for a night or two, then destroy, I can’t be blamed if I would rather hold a man than hold myself, ‘Cause when I do I pinch my skin and cry out loud I’m certain this is hell. You’re wasting me Los Angeles You’re wasting me Los Angeles I was living in my car, parked outside the hotel bar- My hands are shaking- I would smoke a pack a day I wish the cancer’d have it’s way so I quit waking I crossed the line with my best friend, just to numb myself again Let’s ruin everything- Buy a bottle every night Lay in bed and grip it tight like it was loving me. You’re wasting me Los Angeles You’re wasting me Los Angeles And I can’t go home Fell out of love with the greatest many I’ll ever know- Can’t believe it, all those years, it seems as though I’ll never be hole. I’d love to see him with a woman who brings him peace- Not a woman like me, Not a woman like me who’s rotting underneath. You’re wasting me Los Angeles You’re wasting me Los Angeles And I can’t go home
5.
I haven’t spoke her name in 3 years I haven’t felt the pain she built inside of me all of my fears I haven’t seen her eyes in 3 years The thing she always loved the most about herself Crocodile tears Sarah Sarah Where you been I wanna do it again Let me in baby Maybe it’s to late now Call me my- Call me my- Maybe it’s to late now I haven’t heard her voice in 3 years The gravel and the honey move Assaulting my ears I haven’t even dreamt of her smile A crooked way to change my mind She knows how to lie All the time She used a rolling stone Now she loves her past alone She used to love a man I know But now she loves her skin Used to tell me I was strong But she knew that before too long I’d be calling out calling out again Sarah Sarah Where you been I wanna do it again Let me in baby Maybe it’s to late now Call me by her name When you love me strong and slow She’s the one you want She’s the one you know She’s the one you know She’s the one you know She’s the one you know She’s the one you know Sarah Sarah Where you been I wanna do it again Let me in baby Maybe it’s to late now Call me my- Call me my- Maybe it’s to late now
6.
Washing my hands in the kitchen sink 400 years of blood Washing my hands in the kitchen sink with the finest soap Who Are your gods Are they on their way here? Who are your gods Won’t you summon them dear No man you don’t buy it No man It’s a riot Yes sir That’s the quiet that kills Put on my face and I braid my hair 400 years of theft Put on my face and I braid my hair spray the number nine Who Are your gods Do they see what we do? Who are your gods Are they in denial too? No man you don’t buy it No man It’s a riot Yes sir That’s the quiet that kills We colonize a space and time gouging out my pale blue eyes Dignity spared for the guns and shrines Who are your gods Who are your gods Who are your gods Who are your gods Do they know what we’ve done Who are your gods Did they see us and run No man You’re still quiet No Man Your compliant Yes sir That’s quiet that kills
7.
My mother warned me love would knock me out She liked it to a hammer on the soul When I asked her why With a smile in her eyes She said “When you know you know” When I was seventeen I went to Rome I searched the ruins and the catacombs The beauty took my breath, but I’ve got to admit Not my mother’s hammer I loved a man who never loved himself I left him, then I drank myself to hell I woke up with a stranger In a mansion by the sea Not my mothers hammer Years later, I stood up and dusted off It took a while to nurse me back to health Harnessing the power, A king in her new tower Still not my mother’s hammer My friend decided she would take her life She spent her days here suffering in pain Her daughters left alone They etched her name in stone Losing faith in mother’s hammer The day she died you came to my friend door Bearing all the comforts I adore You sat with me in bed And that’s moment when I first felt mother’s hammer I felt it echo through my bloody bones I felt it flood the spaces in between I felt you take my jaw And kiss my lips so raw I felt my mother’s hammer hitting me My mother warned love would knock me out She liked it to a hammer on the soul The children in me fight God damn she’s always right I found my mother’s hammer
8.
UGLY GIRL 04:29
It’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today Its too bad I got all these little scars and all this age I’ve been working like a dog to love myself some way Yeah it’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today Magazines say beauty queens don’t suffer in their skin Need not cover up a god damn thing They say that I could lose an inch or 5 or 6 Child bearing hips just ain’t their scene It’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today It’s too bad I got all this gaul and all this misplaced rage I’ve been working like a dog to love myself some way Yeah it’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today Camel filter fire escapes My mornings spent alone Hollowed cheekbones haunting all my dreams Skip a meal or two to look a little more like you Starve my way to sky high self-esteem It’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today It’s too bad I’ve got war torn hands and stories in my face I’ve been working like a dog to love myself some way It’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today But when I sing I have no face I have no bones No human race I am just a space where you can rest I know it sounds a little strange To wish myself a ghost But when I sing I see my beauty most It’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today It’s too bad I don’t see myself the way that I was made A woman to end all of man A woman unafraid It’s too bad I’m an ugly girl today.
9.
My first love was a carpenter He built me a house Out of bottles and smoke The day I set to leave his side I thought for sure I’d die alone He reminded me of Jesus Christ The calmness in his martyrdom The endless empty of his cup The smell of cedar in his clothes I hope he’ll find a saltine cracker girl To get him good and clean I hope he’ll find it in his bleeding heart To never think of me His brother was an army man Paranoia in his eye He’s probably seen a million things That make him wish he could just die He reminded me of Jesus Christ Carrying a heavy load His trigger finger pops a can Of beer to forget what he knows His is the only face That I have ever swung at while I screamed I hope he’ll find it in his broken heart To never think of me I hope he’ll find a saltine cracker girl To get him good and clean I hope he’ll find it in his bleeding heart To never think of me
10.
Your friend called me by her name at breakfast She did not realize it when she did I played it cool to keep it copacetic I couldn’t bring myself to eat my eggs Every place we go You and her will be Every corner every county has a haunting just for me I can’t forget her woe is me I am just a prisoner Living In your memories You stressed to me how much your family loved her I’m sure her manners far surpass my own I come from blood that heats up very quickly I don’t make small impressions I make holes Everything we do she’s Probably done What’s the point of putting on My armor if the battles won Can’t escape her woe is me I am just a prisoner Living In your memories I’m learning how your muses took their coffee I’m learning how they held you late at night I’m learning how they tasted when they kissed you And you expect me not to want to fight Every time I think it’s time to run I’m reminded that I’ve done some pretty fucked up things for love Still I see her woe is me I am just a prisoner Living In your memories You’ll never understand because All my ghosts are on east coast With dirty water on their sheets All of my ghosts are on the east coast Lucky for you they’ll never leave
11.
DONNA 01:02

credits

released March 8, 2023

Written by Sarah Borrello
Produced & Recorded by Justin Glasco
Mixed by Ryan Lipman
Mastered by Jett Galindo at Bakery Mastering
All instrumentation by Annabel Lee and Justin Glasco
Vocals by Annabel Lee

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ANNABEL LEE Los Angeles, California

Annabel Lee is a Los Angeles rock and roll artist known for her unhinged stage persona and “high octane” (Earmilk) vocals. Getting her start performing at hardcore shows around New England, Annabel brings that kind of unbridled energy to her shows, where everyone is on the cusp of losing their shit while also bringing senstitivity and tenderness with her heavy, imagistic lyricism. ... more

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